The other students that live in these wonderful on-campus subsidized apartments are, by and large, noisy stupid pigs. I know they're noisy, because I can hear them at night giggling and playing music at high volumes. I know they're pigs, because the lawns and the stairs are now coated in a fine layer of garbage, and the hallway outside my particular pad has been trashed, torn up, and otherwise vandalised. I know they're stupid, because of the two previous factors.

I need a home that's buried well away from these beasts. Am I the only person in Anytown who likes to be well-rested in the morning?

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