I just saw Dawn of the Dead. What makes this movie so fantastic is not that it does any one thing particularly well (although the makeup and effects are pretty damn good). It's the zombies. Zombies make any movie better. Doubt me? Imagine the worst film of the year, say, Gigli. Pretty goddamn awful, right? Well, just add some zombies to the mix. Now we have a terrible movie, but with an undead Jennifer Lopez, craving the flesh of the living in a non-creepy-sexual way. She eats her press agent! Then P. Diddy comes up with his peice and his homies blow her skank-ass away, but not before one of his Boyz is bitten and starts to listen to Dave Matthews before everyone catches on that he is now undead.

It also made me want to kill people, walking damned or otherwise. Mainly those who are noisy. Mainly my roommate. Damn.


Perhaps if I dedicated this blog to People Living With Intestinal Disorders, it would do some good for the greater population of Earth. Perhaps if I hosted intelligent discussion on the current state of whales, people would be interested in what I had to say. Perhaps if I actually did something with my time instead of watching movies at work and watching teevee at home I could talk to other people without wanting to kill them.

Seriously. This desire to rend and destroy the lives of the creatures I share this planet with gets in the way sometimes. Well, I wouldn't really kill them as such - I'd just send them home crying to mommy after utterly crushing their spirits. It's wrong, morally, but I feel like destroying.

Yes, give me one of the new 155mm AGWS' to play with. I've a few rounds to park in the homes of my enemies.


I was seized by an intense desire to travel to Las Vegas to see the new Star Trek dealie after veiwing the commercial for it. I guess it worked.

Last night's South Park was the sort of genius that it's going to be hard to live up to. I hope Parker and Stone haven't set the bar too high for themselves.

This crap about distributing manufactured news segments to teevee stations that hype up the new Medicare legislation without actually saying anything is beyond disgusting. The fact that many stations ran these reports without examining the source is even more disturbing, for it points to a fundamental laziness that ought not to exist in our "news" organisations.

Roommate Dirty Boy fell asleep on the couch last night with his shirt off and his hand down his pants - this despite the fact that his individually sealed room was five yards away. It must have had something to do with the amount of nasty nasty Slurricane he downed in 40 oz. bottles last night.


"Walk away, me boys, walk away, me boys, and by mornin' we'll be free. Wipe that golden tear from your mother dear, and raise what's left of the flag for me..."



Minus the music, probably the best piece of journalism I've seen about the Whole Iraq Mess was just aired on the History Channel. It's a part of their "One Year Later" series, but it was basically a montage of outstanding photography and testimonials from the journalists that went along for the ride during those first six weeks of what most closely approximated "regular" combat. It was graphic, it was real, an awesome illustration of an experience that can only be imperfectly described to those who were not physically there. Everyone who says they support war should be forced to watch it.

Again, without the music. I find that sort of thing manipulative and annoying, and I would order the whole set on disc if I could press a button to mute the orchestra. If you're not moved by the sight of five young boys whos faces were burned off by a bit of unexploded ordinance unless there are sappy violins playing in the background, then there's something really really wrong with you.


I'm going to step outside into the chilling night air and let it cool and cleanse me. Spring break was great - in the words of Peter Gibbons, "I did nothing, and it was everything I thought it could be."

-From the Creep In Chief (yup that's me. boring story, might record later for posterity, or myself)


Item the First: 9/11 in Spain. Holy Hell, who saw this madness approaching? Could al-Qaida still be sore about the sacking of Jerusalem during the Crusades? Pause a moment, for the sake of civilisation and sanity.

Item the Second: The battle heats up. Actually, it's been hot all along, the only difference is that the two sides that have been fighting finally got around to actually declaring War on The Enemy. Many broadsides have been fired and are reloading in the Royal Republican Navy, and the Kerry task force is replying in kind, if not with quite as many guns. There's also the plucky Holy Armada of MoveOn, which can count on a certain amount of popular support and an almost equal backlash as they fire what cannons they posess.

Item the Third: I'm about to blow upwards of $70 smackers on this nifty little number, but why? I can't connect it directly to any computer I own except two old Macs that are barely good for typing. It's part of the Pack Rat instinct, and I should quash it immediately. If it becomes necessary to own a MessagePad 2000 in the future, I'm sure I can find one. For now, there's a leadership conference in Notre Dame that will require a small outlay of funds, and despite the tax return I ingested last week I shouldn't be spending more than I absolutely have to.

On the other hand, everyone treats themselves to some sort of rebate extravagance... damn damn damn.


John Kerry and John McCain? Outrageous! McCain will never jump ship - he is a loyal and honorable man. His defection might inspire the more intelligent Republicans to rethink their unthinking support for Dubya, but the rest of them would be fired beyond measure to work against such a "deserter." Besides which, that would totally screw up my Democratic Dream Team ticket, presented forthwith:

Prez: John Kerry (Best option? No. Foregone conclusion? You bet.)
Vice Prez: John Edwards (What's up with all these Johns? Would bring much needed energy and southern charm to ticket, so long as personal pride does not interfere.)
Secretary of State: Wes Clark (Start a pattern with super-smart former generals, but leave this one's brain intact. Also increase southern appeal and Defense credentials.)
Secretary of Defense: This one's up for grabs, and damn hard to fill. Ideas?
Dir. Health and Human Services: Howard Dean (The doctor is in, and would do wonders for our health care system if allowed.)
Attourney General: Hmm, perhaps this would be a better fit for Mr. Edwards. Few can match his experience with the Law in this country. Only if Mr. McCain did jump on the ticket... two Navy heroes in the top slots of government? I'd be happy with as much, although it really is a pipe dream.
Dir. Homeland Security: Edward Rendell (Start a pattern with goofy former Govs of Pennsylvania, make Labor happy.)

Much like the original Dream Team of American b-ball, these warriors would make fools of their opponents and deliver Slam Dunks for the American people on domestic and foreign issues. If only they could be counted on to listen to my advice... but that is pure hubris. Hitler himself would have to be resurrected and placed on the Ticket for me to vote anything other than Democrat in the upcoming "election." Let us hope that this time around we really do have something to vote for, instead of just another boogeyman to vote against.


Well kiddoos, this is one Nasty midshipman. I haven't shaved in three days, I slept in and was late to work this morning (although my alarm clock really did malfunction. no lie.), and when I get home from work I do nothing but change into sweats and vegitate on the couch. I don't know that I'd even have the mental capacity to read a book at this point, and in any event I lack the energy to try. I'm pretty sure something's on the teevee right now, but that's a whole room away. I'll actually be interested to see how long this complete apathy lasts - something tells me I should take advantage of it while all the other roommates are away.

That's another issue, actually. I can deal with any sort of roommate, following the Worst Experience Ever at my former small downtown arts college. This foul beast I shared a two-bed with left spit cups full of chewed tobacco everywhere, turned the teevee on and up every night, piled clothes upon his side of the floor until there literally was no floor left, and even Bob help me I am not a liar failed to flush the toilet after blasting a dookie almost every single time. Compared to this dipshit my current roomies are angelic, but I'm still seriously glad to have the pad to myself for this week. "Lone Wolf" best describes me.


This is hilarious. A new nickle, put into circulation presumably because there aren't enough of the old ones to satisfy demand anymore. The front remains unchanged, while the back now features the image of two hands shaking in friendship. Who do these hands belong to? One, to a soldier of the United States Army, the other to a Native American (or Native Indian, whatever). What's wrong with this picture? Aside from the fact that we never were very friendly to the natives, I mean. In fact, didn't we pretty much slaughter and displace their entire population so we could erect a few thousand Wal-Marts?

Being a historian such revisionism - no, blind and willfull disregard for the truth - really eggs me, especially when it's paid for by the government. This one really is a step too far, gents. If we can't use images while truthfully depict what happened, let's at least stick with something that's accurate.


This story regarding comedy and news is both encouraging and disturbing. Encouraging, because perhaps network bigwigs will begin to catch on to the fact that people don't necessarily prefer polish over content. Disturbing, because anyone who considers themselves "educated" by watching SNL and The Daily Show really shouldn't be doing anything like voting. Or talking.

It was warm enough today in Anytown to wear shorts. Outside. It'll be freezing by the time I make it home this evening, of course, but it was worth it.