6.5.03

Fwiiisssssshhhhh - straight down the drain. I have this sinking feeling that I totally wrecked what could have been a really cool friendship, and why? Because, ironically, I don't know when to shut up.

I talk about half as much as most other people I know, since I've always thought it was important to have something to say before you open your mouth. It's the same way with writing. Some people obviously just love the sound of their own words, but if there's no purpose behind them other than to take up space, then it's merely wasteful.

Despite my caution, some rare idiotic gem manages to slip loose once in a while, and the thing takes off like a missile and wrecks whatever is in its path. It's happened before, and knowing myself, it will undoubtedly happen again. When it happens in person it's usually possible to do damage control, laugh it off or blame it on drink. But when the comment in question is written, it takes on a life of its own, and sometimes I can hardly believe what I've done. It's like kicking a rock into the street and watching a car slide on it and go careening into a lamp post. Only this wasn't a rock, it was a rather rude and insulting remark, and it wasn't a car, but one of the coolest individuals I think I've ever met.

We make mistakes, and hopefully, we learn from them and grow as people. This particular life lesson I should have learned long ago, and maybe that's why the price was so high this time. That doesn't mean it isn't painful, and a damned shame.

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