7.2.03

paranoid jackass is my vote, champ. easy on the whole fate thing. breath in, breath out. things will work out for the best, haven't they already in your life? speaking of fate, it is little known that i have a major tendency to experience deja vu. not just, "oh this seems familiar" but "holy shit, i've been here before". i usually tend to use these experiences as gauges in my life. since they happen frequently, i use them as markers. marking my path in life, and if i have deja vu, then i'm on the path that i'm supposed to be on. well. since i've decided to take a detour from my chosen path of academia, nothing. not one little spurt, iota, or flicker of previous experience. maybe this means i'm making my first major right choice, or even that i threw my own FATE off a little. but maybe it means i made my first major wrong choice. wouldn't that be a bummer. this one choice has seemed to set off a spiral of events that could even lead to me leaving this place of academic advancement.


so all these lonely days in my room, i've just waited for spark of familiarity, so that i know i'm not turning away from what i've always wanted. take that as a bite of fate liam, stop complaining about this girl and be glad you are as comfortable with your life as you are. let life take it's course, treat Grace as she deserves and if it doesn't hit her how great you are, let New York have her. as your sis, it is my blood duty and right to lecture, stop being so pessimistic. it can't be healthy and reading it gets on my nerves. oh and congrats on the BIG acceptance. i always knew it would happen, just took some time and persistence, like most things...including relationships. and i'm done.

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